Pledges · Promises · Plans

A Nation Built on P-Words

A satirical audit of the pledges, promises and plans that echo through every rally, budget speech and manifesto — and the quiet accounting of where the money actually went. Independent civic commentary.

Ministry of Pledges, Promises & Plans

Pledges made. Promises repeated. Plans postponed.

Between the pledge and the delivery lies a national resource: the budget. It is the only part of the promise that is always fully utilised.

Pledges recorded
2,847
Pledges delivered*
3
Ribbons cut
1,290
Budgets 'reallocated'
74

*Satirical figures. See the ledger below for the actual pattern being satirised.

Pledge-to-Delivery Tracker

Every pledge. Its status. What evidence is still missing.

11 of 11 shown
Download PDF report
Pledge · 2013
Re-pledged ×7

A laptop for every child in Standard One

Ministry of Education
Rebranded, not delivered
Budget allocated
KSh 24.6 billion (initial estimate)
What was actually delivered
A rebrand to the DLP tablet, distributed unevenly, later folded into a 'digital literacy framework'.
Official explanation
The programme has been transitioned into a broader digital learning framework currently under review.
Evidence missing (3)
  • Per-school device delivery register
  • Working-devices audit
  • +1 more — expand for detail
Pledge · 2013
Re-pledged ×12

Five world-class stadia, one in each region

Ministry of Sports, Culture & Heritage
Not delivered
Budget allocated
Repeatedly re-announced across budgets
What was actually delivered
Zero completed. Multiple ground-breaking ceremonies. Renovations reclassified as 'construction'.
Official explanation
The stadia are progressing through the pre-groundbreaking phase of the second groundbreaking.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Signed contractor documents per site
  • Independent site inspection
Pledge · 2017
Re-pledged ×5

500,000 affordable houses within five years

Ministry of Lands, Housing & Urban Development
Partially delivered
Budget allocated
Housing Levy from every payslip, plus Treasury allocations
What was actually delivered
Renderings, ribbon cuttings, and a small number of completed units relative to the pledge.
Official explanation
Delivery is being reimagined through public–private partnership frameworks.
Evidence missing (3)
  • Nationwide beneficiary register
  • Per-project cost per unit
  • +1 more — expand for detail
Pledge · 2022
Re-pledged ×4

Subsidised fertiliser for every smallholder farmer

Ministry of Agriculture & Livestock Development
Partially delivered
Budget allocated
Multi-billion shilling subsidy programme
What was actually delivered
Photographs of fertiliser being handed over; batches later reported as substandard or diverted.
Official explanation
The Ministry is investigating what the Ministry did with the fertiliser.
Evidence missing (3)
  • Bag-by-bag distribution register
  • Lab results on flagged batches
  • +1 more — expand for detail
Pledge · 2018
Re-pledged ×6

Universal Health Coverage for every Kenyan

Ministry of Health
Rebranded, not delivered
Budget allocated
A new deduction every eighteen months
What was actually delivered
Rebranded portals (NHIF → SHIF → SHA); registration desks; delayed reimbursements to hospitals.
Official explanation
SHIF, SHA, NHIF and the next acronym are being harmonised for a seamless citizen experience.
Evidence missing (2)
  • SHA claims-paid vs. filed dataset
  • Digital platform contract
Pledge · 2013
Re-pledged ×10

One million new jobs every year

Ministry of Labour & Social Protection
Quietly abandoned
Budget allocated
A press-conference budget
What was actually delivered
A national task force to identify the jobs; targets restated without a baseline.
Official explanation
The jobs are in the pipeline. The pipeline is also in the pipeline.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Verified job-creation dataset
  • Beneficiary registers per fund
Pledge · 1963
Re-pledged ×999

Zero tolerance on corruption

Office of the President / EACC
Perpetually 'ongoing'
Budget allocated
Every anti-corruption commission ever formed
What was actually delivered
Selective memory; selective files; selective arrests; charges quietly withdrawn.
Official explanation
The war on corruption is being fought at the highest levels — by the same people.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Case-outcome dashboard
  • Assets-recovered register
Pledge · 2013
Re-pledged ×8

10,000 kilometres of tarmac roads

Ministry of Roads & Transport
Partially delivered
Budget allocated
Eurobonds, Chinese loans, fuel levy, RMLF, road toll levy.
What was actually delivered
Substantial road works nationally, alongside contracts with recurring variation orders and unfinished sections.
Official explanation
The road is complete up to the point at which the ribbon was cut.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Km-completed register per project
  • Variation orders register
Pledge · 2013
Re-pledged ×6

Galana-Kulalu to make Kenya food secure

Ministry of Agriculture & Livestock Development
Quietly abandoned
Budget allocated
Multi-billion shilling irrigation flagship
What was actually delivered
A pilot maize harvest, then declining outputs, then a quiet exit from the flagship framing.
Official explanation
The model is being restructured through private sector partnership.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Yield-per-hectare timeline
  • Contractor payments file
Pledge · 2008
Re-pledged ×9

Konza Technopolis — 'Africa's Silicon Savannah' by 2020

Ministry of Information, Communications & the Digital Economy
Perpetually 'ongoing'
Budget allocated
Multi-phase mega-project; sovereign-backed loans and levies
What was actually delivered
Access roads, some buildings, and a horizon full of renderings.
Official explanation
Konza is in its next-phase transition; renderings will materialise on the next master plan.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Tenant occupancy report
  • Return-on-investment analysis
Pledge · 2022
Re-pledged ×4

Digital superhighway: 100,000 hustler jobs and fibre to every ward

Ministry of Information, Communications & the Digital Economy
Partially delivered
Budget allocated
ICT budget lines; PPP frameworks; donor-supported programmes
What was actually delivered
Some fibre extensions and gig-work platforms, well below the 100,000-jobs headline.
Official explanation
The digital superhighway is a long-term vision realised in the fullness of time.
Evidence missing (2)
  • Verified 'hustler jobs' registry
  • Ward-level fibre coverage map
The Presidential P-Word Phrasebook

What they said. What it meant.

“I pledge…”
I am about to say something at a rally that will be forgotten before the rally ends.
“I promise…”
I have identified an audience that will applaud and I will now speak in their direction.
“Plans are underway…”
A room has been booked. Tea will be served. Nothing has been decided.
“At the appropriate time…”
After the next election, if the same audience is still listening.
“The process is ongoing…”
The file is moving between desks that all belong to the same person.
“We shall implement…”
A committee will be formed to consider the shape the implementation should take.
“As I speak…”
Right now, in the microphone, nowhere else.
“Prioritised in the next budget…”
Postponed to the budget after the budget after this one.
Promise vs Action

The distance between the microphone and the ministry.

What was promisedWhat was done
Lower the cost of livingRealityIntroduced 3 new taxes on the cost of living
Protect the youthRealityDeployed live ammunition against unarmed young people
Fight corruption without fear or favourRealityWithdrew charges against friends. Filed new charges against critics.
Listen to the peopleRealityHeld public participation after the decision was gazetted
Reduce public wage billRealityAppointed 50 more Chief Administrative Coordinators
Bring the truth to KenyansRealityFormed a task force to write a report about a previous report
Editorial note

This tracker is satire built on a real, repeating pattern in Kenyan public life: grand pledges paired with quietly disbursed budgets, missing evidence, and the polite disappearance of both. Budget-share figures are illustrative — the underlying pattern (variation orders, mobilisation advances, warehousing, consultancy, and unaccounted balances) is drawn from recurring Auditor-General queries and parliamentary committee reports.